Friday, July 19, 2013

liberty and freedom

It was three years ago this past April that I woke up with a very heavy heart. I knew exactly what needed to be done. I walked into the living room where Warren was drinking his coffee and rather than saying 'Good Morning,' I proclaimed 'today is the day.'  I had tossed and turned all night and knew it was time.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way
which you should go;
I will counsel you with My eye upon you."
Psalm 32:8
A relationship in our lives was broken. Severed. Disunited. The events surrounding the broken relationship was confusing and really there was nothing at the heart of it. Just some feelings hurt. But it was a broken relationship. My husband, kids , and own heart were heavy everyday because of this broken relationship.  I am sure it was even affecting ministry and the church.
It was on that morning 3 years ago that I had my Esther moment. Not the beauty part. Not the Queenie part. The Courageous part. My people needed me. The 4 people in my house needed me to be courageous. I had to put aside my fear and pride because something way more important was at stake. 
"The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the defense of my life;
Whom shall I dread?"
Psalm 27:1
That day I searched the scriptures like I never had before. This broken relationship had produced silence for almost 4 years now. The broken relationship caused so much to be missed out on for both parties involved. My three kids were missing the memories.  Warren and I were finding ourselves making excuses, making intentional opportunities to avoid this relationship, and become somewhat numb to the fact this relationship needed repair.   But I was SO SCARED! In fact, scared may have been an understatement. Terrified. Terrified of their reaction to me, scared of the humbling I may have to take, and nervous about the road from here.  I have to admit, I was a  little prideful as well. But God quickly reminded me who I was in HIM and what our family had been called to.
"...To bring good news to the afflicted;
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to captives,
And freedom to prisoners..."
Isaiah 61:1
How can we do that when we are prisoners to a very binding broken relationship?
How can we tell others how to be set free and find liberty in Christ when we have chains of a hurtful relationship always on our minds?
"Now all these things are from God,
who reconciled us to Himself through Christ,
and gave us the ministry of reconciliation..."
 2 Corithians 5:18
There was only one thing to do. Call. Make that call. I couldn't completely serve, love, and honor the Lord with this broken relationship in our lives.
"If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar,
and there remember that your brother has something against you,
leave your offering there before the altar,
and go your way;
first be reconciled to your brother,
and then come and present your offering."
Matthew 5:23-24
So I made the call and the rest is history. Praise the Lord history. Thanks upon thanks history. God is sooo good history. Humbled like never before history.  I mean it was very humbling. 
Why was this so important for me to do? Jesus. Simply Jesus.  Jesus.  His kingdom.  Sharing HIS good news. Salvation. Healing.  Oh, the healing.
But it was also important for generational changes. Doing things different. Our children. Being a family who is on mission together.
"Know therefore that the Lord your God,
He is God,
the faithful God,
who keeps His covenant and His lovingkindness
to a thousandth generation with
those who love Him and keep His commandments;"
Deuteronomy 7:9
So a stone was laid that day 3 years ago on April 28,2010. The stone of God's faithfulness. I don't want to forget what His faithfulness and goodness is. I don't want Tyler, Ethan, or Elise to forget what it is. The stone is also a reminder to forgive, be forgiven, be humble, without bitterness, love, serve, and do whatever you can to be reconciled with others. That's what ministry is all about.
"Let this be a sign among you,
so that when your children ask later;
'What do these stones mean to you?'
then you shall say to them,..."
Joshua 4:6-7a


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